Am I?
by furusato
Summary: FE7 Matthew x Guy Matthew's friendship with Guy has grown considerably since they first met, but when Serra butts in, things change dramatically.
1. Chapter 1

Hello I'm a first timer here… and I love Fire Emblem to death! I'm a fan of most of the yaoi couples but Matthew and Guy are my favourite! I've read a lot of fics about them, especially those by RianneHime (please come back soon T.T) and… I just had this idea in my head for a while and thought I'd put it down on paper.

I do not own Fire Emblem, nor any characters that belong to Fire Emblem.

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"HIYAAA!"

My heart leapt at the sudden outburst of noise as I quickly evaded what was approaching me. A sword skimmed the side of my shoulder.

"Guy!" I exclaimed. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

"No", he replied. "I thought I was choosing when and where this fight was going to be."

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be honourable as a fighter to at least tell your opponent ahead of time?"

"Cut the crap. Remember your little night attack? I was unarmed, unresponsive and ASLEEP! At least now you're conscious and your reflexes are actually functioning."

"Well you got me there… But seriously Guy, you gotta be a bit more careful! If I had moved any slower to dodge your attack, your sword would have cleaved my skull in two."

"Anyone with the experience I think you possess would have sensed that attack long before, but who knows, maybe you're not a real thief." Guy always liked to tease me like that. He tried to anger me, seriously, he did, but I knew he was just too soft for those kinds of taunts, which I always managed to backfire.

"Well if you were real myrmidon, I wouldn't have heard a high pitched cry to alert me that an enemy was coming my way. Come to think of it, anyone in their right minds would have been smart enough to stay quiet if they wanted to surprise their foe!" I could see Guy was stumped, as I observed sweat beginning to appear on his face.

"But…" he began. He always stuttered when he knew he couldn't win. And usually when he couldn't win, he would resort to some sort of violent revenge. "Fine, I'll _show_ you that I'm a true myrmidon!"

The next thing I knew, he was charging at me, sword in hand, his eyes locked on his target. Now this was something that happened quite occasionally and I was always prepared for it. I quickly drew my dagger from my sash and deflected his attack. Guy's sword met my counterattack with a loud metal screech and Guy, being the "true" myrmidon he was, lost grip of his sword, which went flying high in the air, rooting itself into the base of a nearby tree.

"M-Matthew!!" he protested. "Aren't we here to see who has the better sword arm? We'll never find out if you keep disarming me like that."

"Well, in reality, not everyone has a weapon at their disposal. You shouldn't take advantage of the luxury of always having a sword."

Guy paused. He seemed confused and rather intimidated by my wisdom. I could tell he was trying to make sense of everything. "Well, you're asking for it."

"What?" He caught me off-guard. Suddenly, he came charging towards me and head butt me right in the stomach, forcing me backwards onto the ground. A cross between a fistfight and a wrestling match ensued. I dropped my knife… just to prove that I was actually able to play by the rules.

We flailed, rolled about and threw punches here and there. It was quite a nice change from our typical sword fighting we did daily but it was rather difficult to tell who was winning though, as we were always just… very tangled up. But most of the time, I had Guy in a headlock… if that says anything. But as much fun as we were having and however much we wanted to keep going, our stamina reached its limit.

"I'm so exhausted", said Guy, flopping to the ground. I was panting heavily and I lay beside him, my face level with his chest.

"So am I", I added. "Physical combat has a whole new rhythm to it. I think it takes a lot more energy than when we use our swords. It requires practically every single muscle in your body."

"Makes me wonder", he pondered. "If one day I don't have my sword with me, what good will being the best swordsman in all of Sacae be to me?"

"Exactly. See, I'm training you well, aren't I?"

"Whatever Matthew… but it sure is tiring…" He yawned, raising his arms high above his head in stretch. I noticed the bottom of his shirt pass above his waistline, exposing some of his skin near his belly. It was quite… pale, compared to his arms and face, and something that I had never seen before. And it also looked very… squishy as well. Something propelled me to poke him there.

"HEY!" he shouted, as he cringed at the touch of my cold finger. He flinched very spasmodically and was instantly ten feet away from me.

"Wow, aren't you ticklish?" I chuckled. "Come here Guy… I won't bite."

"Stay away Matthew…" he warned. But I disregarded his threat. That overreaction to my small movement was incredibly satisfying. I had to have more. I drew closer to him and began poking him everywhere in his side.

Guy was a wreck. He was squirming, trying to get away from me, but always laughing uncontrollably, his face completely red. Well, at least I was giving him a nice stomach muscle work out…

"Matthew!!" he cried, trying desperately to cease his laughter. "Enough! Enough! Enough!"

He was getting increasingly defensive, and so I decided to cut him some slack. Instead of playfully torturing him, I resorted to a very short embrace. I thought it was a nice little way to conclude our routine fight of the day but Guy became very unusually silent. Suddenly too. Maybe it was a bit… awkward for him to be entirely underneath me with my arms around his neck. "Matthew?"

"I'm sorry", I admitted. "I guess it's just my way of compensating for all that tickling I gave you."

Later that night, after most of the camp had retired for the night, I sat alone near the fire, sharpening my knife. It had been very busy that day… besides the activities with Guy, I had had an early mission from Hector, scouting a new location for our next battle. Then I had to collect information from an innkeeper about what types of armies were passing through the region and then I had to purchase a few rare items from a faraway village with the member card that Merlinus was always reluctant to give me. Maybe he thought I would put it on the black market for my own financial interests…

"MATTHEW!!!"

What were with all of these surprising loud noises today!? I turned, my knife ready to deflect whatever was coming at me…

"What are you doing that for?" Serra, my fellow Ostian cleric was peering over top of my head, just butting into other people's business as usual. She flinched at the sight of my knife, which I quickly concealed beneath my cape in regret.

"Serra! Don't scare me like that." It wasn't like her to sneak up on me like that… Usually, _I_ was the one who spied on everyone.

"Well, a true thief would have known I was coming", she proclaimed.

"Maybe you should go and … wait a minute, that's –"

"That's what Guy said?" she grinned, cutting me off, looking so proud of herself. She winked, very casually at me as well. Had she been watching us today? My eyes widened as I realized how humiliated I felt at the moment. "Bingo!"

"You were watching all that time?" I asked. "Since when?"

"I dunno, about the time you were talking about night attacks. I couldn't hear you guys all that well but I could sure see what you were doing! Including all that… physical contact you had with him, rolling around, wrestling and fighting each other like animals on the ground… What's the matter? Why are you so red in the face? It seems as though you are ashamed."

She was right. My cheeks were burning… and, I didn't know why I felt so embarrassed, but what she said next clarified why.

"So, you really like Guy, don't you?" It sounded as though she had been waiting to ask me that her whole entire life. "But seriously Matthew, I never suspected you liked men… especially after Leila… but maybe you are one of those people who swing both ways!"

"Hold it!" I screamed. "I do _not_ like him that way… and quit chattering before it becomes gossip like everything else you talk about! We are but close friends, he and I." Serra was eying me doubtfully, her index finger touching her chin in wonder.

"Yes, Matthew… _very_ close friends… close enough that you had to give him a giant man hug at the end of all that. Tee hee! He's cute, isn't he? I think so too! I'm on your side. But you TOTALLY love him to death!"

"Serra!!!" I yelled. "I am NOT gay! Could you please stop thinking that!? It's not true!"

"But you are! And you guys are so obvious too!"

"Quiet down! People might hear you." I was outraged. She was getting rather annoying by now, though it didn't look as though she were to be giving up anytime soon…

"Well, it wouldn't matter if it isn't true, now would it?" I paused, looking down, trying desperately to find words to reverse her way of thinking. "See Matthew? You _do_ like men! Now it's okay to admit it. I know everyone else may be a bit uncomfortable if they knew, but I'm feeling extra generous today, so I won't be telling anyone about this! Well… maybe except for a select few of my close girlfriends."

"Well, you're not _going_ to tell anyone anything! 'Cause none of it's true!" I was deeply frustrated with her and stormed away into the night before she could say anything else. I could hear her pursuing me behind her, calling my name, so I quickened my pace. Eventually, I lost her and I reached the tent that Guy and I shared. I was quite tired and was ready to get a good night's rest. I wondered if Guy was still awake…

"He's waiting for you", said a voice that was coming from behind me. I spun around and saw yet again the same little cleric I had escaped just moments ago. How did she _do_ it?

"SERRA!" I whispered harshly. "Why are you still following me?"

"I know you share a tent with your lover, so I thought I'd find you here. And I got too tired of running, so I just used a warp staff to get here." She _what?_ Those were only for special use on special missions! She was so… confident in what she was saying too, but completely ignorant of what I was about to do next.

"That's enough!" I said, grabbing her towards me with my hand covering her mouth. I pushed her head under my chin to immobilize her, which came to me as quite an instinct after the many victims I had treated the same way. I spoke to her very quietly, but severely. "We are _not_ lovers. And watch what you say around him, it might very well ruin our perfectly normal friendship. So _please_, for the love of Elimine, do not spread rumours or make up any false pretenses!"

I could feel her head nodding up and down, her hands now grasping my arm. I released her and disappeared once more from her sight, but this time, away from the camp and into the trees where no warp staff could find me.

It wasn't just because of Serra that I slept in a tree that night, it was because I couldn't stay with Guy. After Serra's little accusation, my views had changed everything about him.

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Thanks for reading! Please R&R, as it is my first time writing; constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated, as language is not exactly my cup of tea… This fic will hopefully be about 3-4 chapters long, I'll update soon! 


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Chapter 2! Poor Matthew… Serra's being so annoying to him! Please enjoy

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I settled into the crevice between two branches of a tree that I had decided to take refuge in that night. I was puzzled and my thoughts were muddled with emotional confusion. What Serra had said… did it make any sense? Could I really have developed feelings for Guy without ever realizing it? Was I overreacting? What was I supposed to do now? 

Okay… way too many questions. I began organizing my thoughts rationally. Firstly, my friendship with Guy was strong and trusting and it was completely innocent. We always stuck together during missions, we were always watching each other's back, and one of our personal favourites, we loved to spar together. Nothing wrong with that… completely normal friendship, yes?

But… what Serra had said. Wrestling was pretty normal among friends… I guess. Nothing better than to settle a conflict with a bit of physical contact! And for me hugging him… okay, well, that might have been a _bit_out of the ordinary, but not completely. I'm definitely not the first to do it either; I've seen others, including Raven and Legault doing it to other guys. So what the hell was wrong with me nuzzling up to my friend? My _good_ friend, I might add.

But when she said that we were "obvious"… Okay, supposing that I_did_ like Guy… _thaaat_ way… How "obvious" did she mean, and if not, were people the least bit suspicious? Well, come to think of it, I always liked to tease him by stealing his food or his sword every now and then… and torturing him with that delightful oath paper that I enjoyed dangling in front of his face (and out of his grasp too!) These things that I tormented him with… didn't mean anything for sure!

All this thought about Guy made me wonder what it was like for him… and what he thought about me. He definitely looked up to me (as I was a year and a half older than him) and he certainly had taken a liking in our valued friendship. No matter how frustrated he got with me when I stole his possessions, he would still show me the same and proper respect he had always given me as if he were never mad… he could never stay mad with me… and same went for me too.

Suddenly, I realized that Guy had been blushing like mad when I had hugged him earlier that day. Picturing him in my head, with his cheeks all rosy red, my memory began to recall similar images of him like that, like when I had put my arm around his neck while we were casually strolling about the plains, or when I let him spoon feed me his last few morsels of dinner, or when I gave him a piggy-back ride on the way to one of our many destinations, and when we were huddled in a warm blanket around the fire, trying to endure Ilia's winter fury. I could go on… but all of these instances, I could have sworn he was awfully flustered.

Maybe… it _was_ the other way around. Maybe he fancied me instead. I wondered if Serra had spoken to him at all about her suspicions… but she wasn't exactly that well acquainted with him. And Guy would probably be scared out of his wits if he heard her speak without cease through sheer habit. I laughed a bit… trying to imagine him unsuccessfully fleeing her none-stop chatter.

But… Guy, liking me? I had to find someway to verify my thinking. I wouldn't want to ask him up front or put him on the spot, as I knew he was a relatively shy person. He wouldn't admit to anything of the sort…

It was late… I could see the moon shining between the leaves that rustled above me. There was a calm breeze that sifted through my hair. Maybe it was time to get some shuteye…

…but a half hour later, I was still awake, wide-awake in fact, still thinking about what had been troubling me since Serra had spoken to me. Man, was this ever fun to contemplate…

Was Guy allowing me steal all of his stuff? It was dead easy… even for one who wasn't a thief. All I did was take whatever was conveniently lying around that minding its own business… and run! It was so weird because Guy wouldn't hide his belongings, he would just lay his clothing on his bedroll. His sword, sheathed, leaning up against the tent entrance. His headband… wrapped loosely around his head. All of these things… were repeatedly just left out in the open and required no effort to pocket at all. It was as if he was asking for attention… but very implicitly.

Slowly, as I finally drifted off to sleep, I convinced myself that Guy had a secret crush on me, though I would need to think of a way to prove it the next day. Clearing my mind, I wrapped myself in my cape for warmth and held my knife at ready… you know, just in case.

When morning came, I awoke to the sharp noise of neighing horses in the distance. Probably the cavaliers just giving their horses their morning run. It had gotten considerably colder throughout the night as I could see my breath vaporizing but at least it seemed as though today were going to be sunny. I jumped off the tree.

As I walked towards camp, I saw people were up and about. I saw Rebecca sewing her satchel, Erk was flipping through a magic tomb, Heath was feeding his Hyperion, Dorcas was sharpening has axe… the usual. After a quick stop by the commanders' tent to see what was on the agenda that day, I entered my tent to see what Guy was up to. I made a mental note to myself to make sure I would be able to prove the theory I had come up with the night before.

He was asleep, lying peacefully on his bedroll, under the covers with his arm dangling over the side. I didn't really want to disturb him, so I just sat down on my bed and began to sort through my belongings. Maybe when he awoke, I would make my move to see if he truly did have feelings for me. Every now and then, Guy would stir, from being on his side to his back or just simply burying his head further under the covers. It seemed as though he would be up soon.

"Get ready men!" boomed Hector from outside. "We're leaving within the hour."

"Alright, Milord", I replied. "We'll be ready soon." Hmm… All I really needed to do is to see if I could bring out that blush of his again… Now I could rudely awaken him by pouncing on him, or I could gently stroke his cheek… Or even better, he could wake up to my well-practiced handsome smile, which I also considered kind of seductive if I tried… And I could go shirtless to boot! That would really put him to the test… I knew he admired my arm muscles, but would he be able to stand the rest of me?

Oh was he in for such a surprise! Carefully, without making too much noise, I removed my thin green shirt and knelt at the side of his bed. The cool morning air against my bare skin made me shiver slightly. I crossed my arms and placed them on his covers, propping myself up and leaning relatively close to his face. Perfect timing too…

As soon as I began to glower at him, letting my longest strands of hair dangle down to my nose, Guy's eyelids flickered and slowly began to open. I made sure that I was the first thing he saw, as I inched forward to enter his line of sight.

"Good morning sleepy head", I purred, trying to sound as salacious as possible. My beaming face was so close to his own that I could feel the warmth of his breath. Guy was just staring at me for the longest time… What could be going through his mind?

"What are you doing?" he coughed. He seemed very… fatigued and not as responsive as I would have hoped. Well, I couldn't blame, as he had only been awake for just less than ten seconds. But as I patiently waited, I could see his cheeks reddening. I think by now he had realized that my shoulders weren't covered with fabric and from that he could gather that I was shirtless.

I put my hand on his arm and shook it gently. "Come on, it's time to get up."

"C-Can't I just… j-just give me five more minutes", he said anxiously. I could tell he was nervous by that stutter he would have every now and then… and with that, he just pulled the covers up over his face and pretended to fall back asleep.

"You heard what Hector said", I said. This was fun, torturing him like this. He was so embarrassed that he was retreating back into his shell… how adorable… And just to spice things up a bit more, I threw his sheets off of him and wrapped my arms around him to lift him out of bed myself. His body was warm for being under the covers all night. I bet he couldn't stand the thought of being surrounded by the touch of my skin.

He didn't seem too resistant though but once he was standing, he didn't seem as groggy as he was just a few moments ago. In fact, his eyes were wide-open, staring down at my chest, probably so entranced to not complain or protest about his early wake up call.

And… he blushed even harder. This was playing out nicely. Now I could go to Serra and tell her that it was all one sided. It wasn't I who liked Guy, it was in fact quite the opposite. I filed away the evidence into my memory. Guy's eyes were _still_ glued on me.

But he finally looked away, very consciously, and began packing his things. I had finished a while ago, so I started helping him, but with a shirt on this time, just to cut him some slack. I kind of pitied him…

"I hear we're going to Sacae again", I said.

"Can you pass me those socks over there?" he asked, pointing at the foot of his bed. Well that was kind of off-topic… He was probably too infatuated with me to even think straight. I complied.

"Once we get there, why don't you show me around a bit? It's where you grew up right?" He nodded.

"Yeah, no problem."

After we were all packed up and ready to hit the road, our small army began marching to the east into the glistening sun. To kill time, I found Serra and told her all about my productive morning.

"And so… from what I can gather, I think he really likes me!" I concluded. Because Guy was walking near the front of the group, we pulled up the rear so we could talk all we wanted without him hearing. As I finished my story, Serra was registering everything I had said, and tried to see if my results held any truth to them.

"You really think so Matthew?" she asked. I noticed she was wearing her perky expression again, the same one she had had last night. "Of course he likes you! I thought that was obvious? But… there's one part of your story that I think you may be leaving out…"

"And what would that be?" I braced myself.

"That you like him _baaack_", she sang. He tapped her staff on the top of my head. "Silly you. And before you protest or threaten me with you knife, please, what were you _thinking_!? Randomly taking off your shirt like that…"

"It was all a test", I replied. "I just needed to see his reaction."

"Okay", she admitted. "I see your point there… but somehow, I think there was another reason. May I ask you something?"

"Sure…" I said reluctantly.

"Did you _enjoy_ your little test? The way you picked him out of bed?"

"…uhh…" I couldn't answer without hesitating and seeming indecisive. "Of course not."

"Let me tell you something. Call me crazy, but you were flirting with him. Ask anyone if hugging someone while you're shirtless is flirting, and you will most definitely get yes for all of your answers."

"But I needed to find out if –"

"Bullshit… Matthew, you're so easy to read. If you asked any straight guy out there, they would never hug another guy, even their best friend, just to make them blush. Even if it was just an experiment… that's no excuse. So either you like him… or you like him!"

"Not this again…" I sighed.

"Matthew!? Just accept it! It would be better for the both of you." I just crossed my arms and shook my head in denial.

"I do _not_ like him!"

"Whatever you say… okay, so since you've found out that Guy likes you… are you sure you want to be hanging around him anymore? How do you feel about someone of the same sex liking you Matthew? Huh? It's not that comfortable anymore, right? So, I guess you can't be friends with him anymore…"

"What do you mean Serra?" I could see her logic, but Guy and I were so close. But… I could let him like me while keeping our friendship intact…

"Think about it… I don't think you can have the same kind of friendship with Guy now that you know that he admires you. Who knows, he might make a move on you at any minute! Looks like you'll need to avoid him to make sure you don't make him think that you like him back. I guess this is it for you two…"

"You… you monster", I proclaimed. She was lying! We could still be friends. Just… we could…

I forcefully pushed her aside and stomped away. I spent the rest of the journey with the nobles, trying to keep my mind clear of the problems I now faced. I couldn't stand to be around either Serra or Guy at the moment. They both scared me…

But the one thing that truly scared me was… was I willing to give up Guy, just to prove to myself that I didn't like men? Was I really ready to give up everything I had to do with him? Well, if I he did like me, it would escalate into something, and I definitely didn't want that. Maybe… we could never see each other again.

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Why is this so fun to write? The next chapter should be up in about 2 weeks or so. And thank you to those who have reviewed so far! But please, keep them coming, I need as much feedback as I can get! 


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